


Nameless

by hyliank8



Series: Sanster Experiment AU Collection [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ...or is it?, Abuse, Angst, Gaster is an irredeemable piece of shit, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Physical Abuse, Inspired by a friend's art again, M/M, Passive Suicidal Ideation, Sadism, Soul Trauma, Stockholm Syndrome, There's literally nothing happy about this fic, They're not related but Sans is Gaster's creation, W. D. Gaster is not related to Skelebros, experiment au, painfully one-sided Sanster, this is just gratuitous pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24991846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyliank8/pseuds/hyliank8
Summary: S-01's only purpose is to serve his creator.He knows this, knows he doesn't really matter...  but he still can't help but long to feel something other than pain.
Relationships: W. D. Gaster/Sans
Series: Sanster Experiment AU Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905070
Comments: 22
Kudos: 60





	Nameless

**Author's Note:**

> again inspired by something my very talented friend made on twitter!!! a lotta the beginning dialogue is taken directly from their beautiful art ;~; 
> 
> i mighta stretched what their original ideas were, but >.< hope this is ok!!
> 
> enjoyy hehe

Sweat beads on S-01’s skull as he fights back the pained tears forming in his eye sockets.

He struggles to keep his grunts of discomfort contained as his creator uses him harshly. Doctor Gaster has two of his conjured hands pinning him against the cold, hard surface of the examination table, one holding his wrists while the other presses down on his sternum. S-01’s dull, grey lab gown is hiked up, offering his lower body no protection from Gaster’s hungry gaze as the larger monster rocks into him.

It’s not uncommon that a medical examination from the scientist would turn into… this. Doctor Gaster examines him frequently, constantly gathering data on the effects of the various, usually agonizing tests he subjects his experiment to. But after he finishes gathering his notes, his touches often turn from clinical and professional into something far more intimate and invasive. Gaster uses him at his leisure, whenever he has the desire to do so, and S-01 never has any choice in the matter.

Every thrust Gaster gives is jarring, each one more painful than the last. S-01’s eyelights haze, and he’s not sure how much more of this agony he can take. He just wants… something, _anything_ more than this endless suffering.

“is it… _hn,_ ” S-01 breaks off with a grunt from the doctor’s next harsh thrust; it’s difficult to speak through the cruel treatment, but S-01 presses on. “is it too much to, _hah,_ ask for your ap—… approval? like, gh… ‘good boy,’ or… ‘i love you’?”

Gaster laughs. “S-01, this isn’t love. This is for my own pleasure. You’re just fulfilling your purpose as my property.”

S-01’s damaged soul throbs painfully. “...yeah.” He says. “i know.” He does know that, he _knows_ , and he expected that answer from Gaster too but for some reason it still _hurts_. He’s growing so tired of this, of the unending pain and domination and mental _anguish_ he endures every day. It’s becoming harder and harder to hang on, to keep going, to open his eyes every morning when he knows it’s always the same, when he knows misery is all that the day ever holds for him. 

He wonders if it’s possible for him to die without Gaster intentionally killing him, wonders whether his diminishing will to live could eventually lower his defenses enough that a single one of Gaster’s irritated, impulsive slaps would shatter his body into dust.

“Now shut up and stay still.”

S-01 doesn’t know why he even bothered trying to ask for his approval. It was his final effort to get some semblance of something other than pain out of this, he supposes. But it was useless, just like everything else he’s tried in attempt to get through to the doctor.

He still vividly remembers the night his soul cracked. How Gaster held it captive in his unforgiving grip and wouldn’t let go. How Gaster caressed it in such a deceivingly soft way, how he felt Gaster’s malicious intent invading him on the most intimate level possible.

How he begged Gaster to stop, and how his helpless struggling, his tormented pleading only seemed to encourage Gaster to continue.

The crack in his soul still idly throbs sometimes, but its presence is especially impossible to ignore during times like now when his soul is already in a high state of distress. It’s so, so painful, and S-01 wishes with everything he has that it would stop. That Gaster would just stop, finally decide he’s had enough and let him go. 

He knows that will never happen, and that makes the throbbing in his soul that much sharper.

He tries to escape the situation, tries to imagine that he’s not being fucked against his will… that Gaster’s making love to him instead. He imagines Gaster leaning down, his warm breath against the side of S-01’s skull. Imagines the gentle kisses Gaster would leave on his jaw, his vertebrae, his collarbones. How softly his hands would caress his rib cage, aiming to please him rather than to dominate him. 

He wonders how the scientist’s lips would feel against his teeth. _Good boy,_ Gaster would whisper against his mandible. _You’re doing so well, I’m so proud of you._

Longing pangs through S-01’s soul. 

He yearns for Gaster to call him by his real name, the name he knows he would have been given from the font he uses to speak. He hears him say it in his dreams, sometimes. _I love you, Sans._

Doctor Gaster’s experiments have given S-01 glimpses of other worlds, other timelines where the doctor doesn’t refer to him as a meaningless test subject. He can’t help the envy that pulses through him for the lives of his alternate selves. In another life, he imagines Gaster laughing at his jokes, calling him by that name. Gaster holding him close, telling S-01 that he adores him. Giving him sweet kisses, praising him, telling him he’s good, that he deserves to feel good, that he’s worthy of love and affection. That he doesn’t deserve the pain, that he doesn’t deserve to suffer and that Gaster will never, ever hurt him.

His soul clenches. But no, of course not. Of course that wouldn’t happen. He’s not worthy of Gaster’s love. Gaster’s made that very clear to him; he’s his experiment, his _property_ , and nothing more than that. And he’s not even… not even _valuable_ property. He doesn’t do anything but disappoint Gaster, doesn’t do anything but irritate him. His only purpose is to please his creator, and he can’t even… he can’t even do that right. He’s worthless.

His soul flutters weakly as he stares blankly ahead, letting himself be used, letting Gaster continue his harsh treatment. It doesn’t matter. Maybe Gaster will push into him too hard one time, maybe he’ll brace himself too roughly against S-01’s rib cage and he’ll crack one of S-01’s ribs, and maybe that’ll finally splinter him into dust. 

He wishes it would happen already. He doesn’t want to do this anymore.

He _can't_ do this anymore.

“Stop _crying,_ ” Gaster snarls above him. “I’m not even being that rough with you. You should be grateful.”

S-01 didn’t realize he was crying until Gaster said it. But even after becoming aware of it, he finds that he’s unable to stop himself from shedding more tears. Gaster’s admonishment hangs heavily in his skull, and he’s just… tired. Too tired to control his body’s actions anymore because it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t _matter_. No matter what he does, this torment is never going to end. Gaster’s never going to be satisfied with him because he’s just not _good_ enough. And he’s especially pathetic because he _deserves_ this pain, he _knows_ he deserves it but he still can’t take it.

Worthless. Useless. He’s a mistake, not even good for his original purpose.

He can't do this anymore.

...

_Crack._

The sound echoes throughout S-01’s body in a way that makes him question for a moment whether the noise only existed in his mind; but Gaster must have heard it too, because he falters for a moment.

S-01 expects to feel the delayed agony of a broken rib or fractured wrist, but instead he’s suddenly hit with a distinct and heavy wave of… numbness. Gradually, he comes to the realization that must have not been a bone that cracked, and he focuses his attention inwards. He finds that the crack that Gaster caused in his soul all that time ago is now widening, slowly splintering further and further into the culmination of his being as pieces of his soul flake away into irreparable shards. He knows that such an injury is lethal, yet he can’t feel it; for once in his life, there’s no pain. 

It’s… incredibly peaceful.

Gaster’s face runs blank with shock as he finally comprehends the implication of the sound. Even without being able to see S-01’s soul for himself, he’s certainly done enough research on souls to recognize the sound of one cracking fatally, delayed though his recognition may have been. S-01 distantly realizes it's the only time he’s seen an emotion other than irritation or sadistic glee in the scientist’s expression.

“...Sans?” It’s spoken more softly than S-01 would have expected, and it occurs to him that he’s never heard _concern_ in the doctor’s voice before. 

The name is the last thing he hears before his world dissolves into darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> maybe gaster cared more about his experiment than he realized ://
> 
> so tbh i’m not Super happy w/ this one but sometimes i think i gotta just!! put stuff out there without thinking too hard about it. I didn't edit this as much as i usually do, so it might not be as good but i just had to get this idea out without adding another wip to the (rapidly-)growing pile,, so pls bear w/ the quality of this one, haha :p
> 
> i've got like. 4 wips that are Very, Very close to being finished (two of which are requests ehehe), but then the inspiration for this one grabbed me by the thrOAt when my friend posted their art n i wrote this whole thing in one sitting (which is very unusual for me lol).
> 
> ANYWAYS if u wanna find me elsewhere i'm on [ twitter](https://twitter.com/K8Maybe) a lot recently, or [here's my carrd](https://hyliank8.carrd.co/) if u wanna find me elsewhere! 
> 
> ty for reading!! if u comment i love u


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